Thanks RG for the Macy’s AD pic for Calvin Klein fragrance normalizing a bw with a beau from the global village. I wonder which demographic(s) was the target for this ad. I know that all marketing campaigns have a major target group in mind.
Thanks CH for this Youtube VIDEO AD for a sleek FORD SUV. Hmm, I wonder whether this AD was pitched more at men than women? And I wonder whether it was pitched more at the wm demographic. I don’t believe it’s pitched at bw because it shows too many close-up shots of the woman. Instead, most hetero women would want to see LOTS of close-ups of HIM–not her! I’m just saying. LOL
It’s telling that you, a wm, found the video. LOL!
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Been a while since I dropped in here. I’ve been so busy creating items for our online store, vending at holiday craft events, writing, making holiday gifts for family members, fulfilling a few store orders, and WELCOMING my newest grandchild!!
Yep! I was in the delivery room
during the birth because my daughter-in-law (DIL) wanted me to video it. So there I was with my iPhone capturing it all. OMG It was such a beautiful birth day! They are both doing well and I’m looking forward to seeing both the grandkids and other family members on Christmas day at my son’s home since he and my DIL always host a holiday party.
As the year 2015 draws to a close, I’ve been taking stock in the past few weeks of what I want to focus on the new year. I will continue to post here occasionally but my focus will always have a cultural slant–such as this one.
For that reason, I’m posting here a note I received recently from a young bw who is in a serious relationship with a young man from a Mormon background. I was particularly happy to read how
she’s vetting him. Any woman can have a man hanging around her. In nature, all females can get a male, but not all males can get a female. So, getting together with a man for dinner, a movie, or whatever, is not difficult, if a woman just wants a person with a male’s anatomy but this young woman is not just “kicking it” with him or frittering away her super-valuable youthful FEMALE time. She has steered the relationship toward marriage, but that probably wasn’t difficult to do since he comes from a background in which men and women get married. But the overwhelming most backgrounds in the global village in 2015 are still of that type. Men and women marry. Well, actually Mormon men in the past even married several women. So, I’m sure this young Mormon guy will have no problem marrying ONE woman. LOL!
Virtually ALL (young) women in practically every culture expect to marry. That is still the norm, practically everywhere, all of the time. In the 15 years of my marriage to Darren, practically all of his nieces and nephews (5 nieces and 5 nephews) have gotten married–while in their 20s. Another niece is going to get married in 2016. And the friends of his nieces and nephews are also getting married. So, when I hear that white folks aren’t getting married as much anymore, I don’t know those types of whites.
It was the same when I was married to my ex-husband. Nigerians were constantly getting married. I have been to a LOT of weddings in my life! Whew!
However, both of my husbands have come from backgrounds where virtually all of the family members and friends are college graduates and most are multi-degreed. I’ve posted research here that proves that higher-educated people tend to place a high value on marriage, so they marry at a high rate.
ALL of the men I spent more than a minute with throughout my life were from backgrounds in which marriage was the norm. Marriage was therefore the expected outcome for our relationship by BOTH of us. I didn’t need to try to talk them into marriage; I didn’t need to try to trick them into marriage; I didn’t need to try to guilt them into marriage or twist their arm or give them ultimatums. They, themselves, didn’t even want to invest their time and energy day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year in a relationship with me, just “kicking it.” Time and energy are major investments, let alone money–so serious, well-balanced men don’t even want to invest all of those irretrievable assets in a relationship that has no particular place to go.
Also, I would be highly suspicious of any man who didn’t start talking to me about marriage, relatively soon, if we liked each other and spent time with each other and figured out that we were compatible. Then why not marriage? If we weren’t compatible, I’d be out of there because it’s a waste of time to spend time with a man who is not compatible if I, a woman, want to marry.
I would also not TRUST him if he didn’t start talking about marriage, fairly soon. A man doesn’t exactly have to say the word “marriage” to “indicate” to a woman that he is serious about investing in a long-term relationship with her. “Indications” are ACTIONS. A thinking woman knows how to watch a man’s actions to determine whether they match his words. This is a part of vetting him.
Therefore, without those “indications” from him, I would never be able to commit emotionally to him–since I wouldn’t trust him. Without trust, I wouldn’t feel secure with him. As with practically any woman, security was and is very important to me.
I wouldn’t tell him any of this though. After all, I’d never try to browbeat a man into committing to me. What I WOULD do is to still emotionally search for a man I could trust because as an adult woman, I must look out for my needs and interests, first and foremost. LOL! I’d automatically assume he’d also be looking out for his interests. In my experience, men tend to automatically do that, without being taught or told. Therefore, if he won’t commit to me, I’d figure he’s looking for another woman to whom he can commit.
From my early days of dating, if a man wanted an exclusive relationship with me, he had to show all the signs of limiting his focus to me, only–and in all the usual ways. Reciprocity. My ex-husband and Darren did that very early in our relationship. BOTH of them knew to do that because they’re from backgrounds in which women, at least, expect or require reciprocity. It’s the standard. And I came of age at a time when black American women knew it was the norm to expect reciprocity in dealing with men. This doesn’t mean that black women always got reciprocity, but that was the standard. Standards are critically important!
But none of this is rocket science! This is just normal behavior between adult men and women–unless there are those rare extenuating circumstances.
Youthful FEMALE time is very valuable because it’s fast and fleeting. It’s the prime time for a woman. Any woman who allows a man to use up her YOUTHFUL time without securing something of solid value from him that she can benefit from in the future–when she’s older–is a fool. An averagely good marriage is a fantastic return on the investment of time, energy, and money expended, and it’s an arrangement that accumulates compound interest that keeps on giving back to BOTH parties involved.
This is why VETTING for the right person is SO important!
Here’s my reader’s note (below) and the intro to my podcast series follows.
This podcast INTRO will eventually be posted in the podcast category at Intercultural Interracial LIVING IN THE NEXT LANE
In the next week or so, I’ll post the multi-note exchange–that this note-writer and I had re her question–on my Intercultural Interracial NEXT LANE LIVING site in the BLOG section since it definitely falls under the heading of both ‘intercultural and Interracial.’ She and her man have been seeing each other for about a year, and you will see that this is a smart young woman–who thinks critically. I’m clapping for her!
Hello Ms. Evia,
Here’s the FREE Introduction to a new podcast series I’m working on called: Cultural Teachings ABCs – Culture as a Form of POWER. I’m a cultural curator. I’m very enthused about creating this series because it’ll give me a chance to record and share the details of highly valuable cultural teachings and information. This has been a personal desire of mine for a while.
I’m including the 21 minute podcast series INTRO here, but actual segments will be posted for purchase in our SHOP Butterflitia store.
PODCAST: Cultural Teachings ABCs – Culture as a Form of POWER
Thanks SO MUCH for spending time with me here in 2015 and for all of your support with my various projects.
Y’ all are treasures!
Happy Holidays to You and Yours!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download